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Archive for November, 2010

WOW.

I mean just wow. So many things have happened in these two weeks. It feels so surreal. I hate the fact that I’m 6000 miles away when all I want to do is to embrace you in my arms. Seriously someone should invent teleportation to become tomorrow’s public transport system. It’s really bugging me. You make me giggle on the phone and smile myself silly in front of my laptop  while reading your conversations and emails. I haven’t felt this way for a long time and I’m kinda scared of breaking people’s hearts. I’m certainly not too sure whether it’s better to be loved or to love someone. The word “Love” has such a big burden on me which I really don’t want to ride on since urgh, once again because I’m afraid of breaking people’s hearts. I hate commitment as well. I can’t, I just can’t. Yet.

Long distance relation isn’t going to work either because I’ve tried. Perhaps it will be different, I don’t know. So many unanswered questions. My life’s so complicated or rather I make things complicated. I hope you’re not thinking I’m a slut. No, I’m not. You have no idea how happy you have made me these 3 months. Things might change. I don’t know. I find myself thinking about you and wondering when I’ll be able to see you again. Am I in love? I don’t know. I haven’t loved anyone and I don’t know how it feels like to be hurt because you’re in love. I think that’s why I don’t want to fall in love because I refuse to get hurt.

Your words make me feel so gleeful. I can’t wait. I hate waiting. It feels like an eternity. My sexual orientation is all hay-wired and yes I think I’ll fall for personality more than gender but I never expected both to happen at the same time. I just hope it’s not just because of lust I’m after. Urgh. All this greed isn’t good. I need to go for a run.

I really really miss you 🙂

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If I Fell

If I fell in love with you
Would you promise to be true
And help me understand
Cos I’ve been in love before
And I found that love was more
Than just holding hands

If I give my heart to you
I must be sure
From the very start
That you would love me more than her

If I trust in you oh please
Don’t run and hide
If I love you too oh please
Don’t hurt my pride like her
Cos I couldn’t stand the pain
And I would be sad if our new love was in vain

So I hope you see that I
Would love to love you
And that she will cry
When she learns we are two
Cos I couldn’t stand the pain
And I would be sad if our new love was in vain

So I hope you see that I
Would love to love you
And that she will cry
When she learns we are two
If I fell in love with you

 

Lennon/1964

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Something…

Something in the way she moves,

Attracts me like no other lover.

Something in the way she woos me.

I don’t want to leave her now,

You know I believe and how.

Somewhere in her smile she knows,

That I don’t need no other lover.

Something in her style that shows me.

I don’t want to leave her now,

You know I believe and how.

You’re asking me will my love grow,

I don’t know, I don’t know.

Stick around, and it may show,

But I don’t know, I don’t know.

Something in the way she knows,

And all I have to do is think of her.

Something in the things she shows me.

I don’t want to leave her now.

You know I believe and how.

 

From George, The Beatles.

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Panic season

Exams Galore and I have so many things to read.

I’ve never been so overwhelmed with such academic material before.

Will not be updating anytime soon. TOODLES>

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